When someone tears, sprains, or breaks something, they often need surgery and then months of physical therapy to recover. Even worse because that muscle or bone is weaker, it is more prone to break again. How come we all know this and treat these physical injuries this way, but when it comes to being mentally injured, we just brush it under the rug? Even worse the mental injuries, that take years and not just months of therapy, are so so prone to getting reinjured. We, as individuals and as a society, take the time to treat our physical injuries, but yet we feel silly or weaker when we choose to treat our mental injuries.
Personally, I’ve always chosen to take care of my mental health. I’ve been going to therapy on and off for almost five years now, but for some reason, I still view myself as injured or less of a person because I struggle with mental illness. When I relapse into unhealthy thought patterns, I tear myself apart.
I struggle with anxiety. Most people know this because anxiety can be outwardly shown and mine is a decent amount of the time. However, the silent killer is depression. My mind slips into this much easier than I’d ever like to admit. I hide for weeks, even months, at a time and don’t tell anyone I’m struggling, yet I spend every night wishing someone would reach out. I often enter into a feeling of numbness.
When feeling numb, all anyone wants is to feel something. This is why so many turn to self-harm and thoughts of permanent harm to oneself. I was a year and a half free from thoughts of self-harm, but now I go into tomorrow having to start that streak over at one again. It sucks because I feel defeated. I feel mad at my own brain. My own powerhouse feels like my worst enemy. Yet at the same time trying to trust that God always has something better coming.
With all this being said, I wanna leave this reminder that you never know what is going on in someone’s head. Constantly continue to be there for your friends. If you notice that you haven’t heard from that friend in a while, reach out to them. You may never understand and that is okay, but that one hug or one supportive text might change everything for someone. AND if you are struggling right now, you aren’t alone. I get it, I know how hard some of these moments are, but I also know how rewarding and amazing it is once you get out of it. AND it is okay and normal to get out of it and enter back into it. Yes, it sucks, acknowledge that, but also remember that it does get better and you know that. Most importantly, you aren’t any less worthy because you struggle, you still deserve the world and more than that. Take the time to show yourself some love. I mean look at how insanely strong you are.
Everyone that knows me, knows that the last thing I want from this is pity. God gave me my life and everything that that comes with. Therefore, I am going to take that and use what I can to help others. To spread awareness and to let others know that they aren’t alone. I love you all.
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